deleted

what ever just had this most amazing blog and deleted the hole damn thing before i safed it.......WTF

love you gran

xxx

Freedom, or to be Free!

okay so this is my first blog ever, yay me, how exciting....

so today i was completely down and out,

things have being slightly off the wall for me lately to say the very least, shame poor me, yes i know we all have our own problems but hey, today was my day to feel hopeless sorry for myself...

okay so back to things being off the wall, well because everything has being so crazy i have had to be slightly , okay slightly is an understatement, i have had to completely rely on certain individuals for help and support.

great you might say, you so lucky that you have the option of turning to others for help and support.

and you be right.......

however if you new me you would most certainly know that, that is defiantly not the option for me !!!!!!! in fact i would go so far as to say that is certainly a killer.... soul destroying heartbreaking KILLER>>>>>>>> need someone ??? me ????NEVER!!!!!!!!!

okay so before you get my whole totally boring life story, back to my title freedom or to be free....

do we really understand that term....

to be free, i am free, freedom. well for the very first time in my life i have actually sat and really thought of what it means to proclaim your freedom or just to ask am i really free.

my husband once mentioned to me......'things aren't so bad, you had nothing when i met you'

a bit harsh i know, however in context not so bad, however what i realized was

yes materialy, i had nothing but i was free...

I SAID WHO, I SAID HOW,I SAID WHEN,

what i failed to see then was that i was free and what i know now is there is no price on freedom! and i had it all.

the point of all of this is how many of us are free, how many sunday lunches to you attend because you feel you owe someone, or look what they have done for me, i cant possibly dissapoint them?????? how free are we and what does it really me to you to be free... and at what cost would you fight for your definition of freedom.....

what i can tell you, is after today i view freedom in such a holy light, one that i never even gave a second glance, for a control freak like myself, the essence of life begins with being truely able to be free to value that you place on freedom.. To say who, to say when, to say how, to say how much.......

love light and rainbows

xxx